It occurred to me the other morning that very often, I squander time. I spend weekends or weekday evenings just frittering away what is our most precious resource, and the ONLY resource which cannot in any way be recaptured or regained. Oh sure, I tell myself that puttering and mindless activities are relaxing and rejuvenating and that I shouldn't always drive myself at a frantic pace. But there are still so many ways to relax - REALLY relax - in a more luxurious way than just letting hours evaporate while running tiny little errands without regard to planning them. If I truly let it sink in what a precious commodity my irreplaceable minutes are, I would honor them by spending a few minutes to strategize even my errands. Like wait until a workday to pick things up at the nearby library rather than take the subway down and back on a Sunday.
How many more incredible things could I get done, like writing that book I've always thought about, or learning that language, or writing to a dear friend? How I could have time to get rid of those nagging little chores that gnawrelentlessly at my mind and which I've been putting off? I could end up with more time to spread the word on my gorillas and monkeys. I could work on my website or my paintings, or prepare some delicious, nutritious meals for the week and celebrate the act of cooking. Intentional time. Deliberate, conscious expenditure of time and energy. And in the process very likely conserving energy and natural resources as a by-product.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
An "Owen Meany" experience
Years ago, I read John Irving's "A Prayer for Owen Meany." I have been haunted and moved by that story for a long, long time. It is about a boy who has numerous odd, quirky physical and behavioural traits that no one can understand. His mother and best friend are his only real social group. Owen is extremely short for his age, has a loud, off-putting, high-pitched voice, he's always trying to see how long he can hold his breath underwater, always trying to make baskets at the hoop, and is fascinated by the date of his death. Throughout the book it is almost painful to see him go through life. In the last 2 pages there is an incident in which every one of his quirks becomes of great value, and because of them, he ends up saving a lot of lives.
Sometimes I think of my summer at CWAF in a similar way. All the quirky odd activities, hobbies and paassions I acquired over my lifetime came to bear during that time in Cameroon. Everything from shiatsu to animal massage to cooking and gardening, interior design, art, public touring, Excel, animal care, writing and documenting, adventure travel, fundraising, camping, sewing, French, I had a chance to do it all! There has never been a time or place where I've felt so fulfilled and alive.
Sometimes I think of my summer at CWAF in a similar way. All the quirky odd activities, hobbies and paassions I acquired over my lifetime came to bear during that time in Cameroon. Everything from shiatsu to animal massage to cooking and gardening, interior design, art, public touring, Excel, animal care, writing and documenting, adventure travel, fundraising, camping, sewing, French, I had a chance to do it all! There has never been a time or place where I've felt so fulfilled and alive.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Save paper....save a tree...save a gorilla
I just read an article on the environmental makeover of 2 families, with Matthew Modine and actress Laurie David, who are both staunch eco-activists, teaching them how they can be more earth-friendly. When Laurie tells "her" family about saving paper, "When you see paper, think of a tree," a more accurate and powerful way to think about it is, "when you see paper, think of a tree; think of a gorilla or chimp."
It is the logging industry devastating the Congo rain forests which is largely responsible for the decimation of tens of thousands of animals, including elephants, gorillas, chimpanzees and monkeys. The animals are eaten for "bushmeat." Altogether, almost 90 million cubic meters of wood per year are removed from the forests of Central Africa and shipped to other continents.
This is due to:
- The animals' habitat is destroyed
- Logging roads penetrate deep into the forest making it easy for hunting
- Thousands of men on the crew are fed most economically and conveniently by the hiring of hunters with sophisticated weapons (provided by the logging companies), who kill the animals. That's why CWAF exists - the Cameroon Wildlife Aid Fund - where orphaned primates - the lucky ones - end up when their parents are killed and eaten.
So, think about it the next time you trash a kilo of wasted printer paper, or grab a gob of paper napkins at Pret a Manger, or toss 5 paper cups a day instead of a mug....save a tree, save a gorilla.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
I launched my website!
My first website, http://www.peacefulportraits.com/, is up and running as of Monday! Check it out. It's mostly focusing on my artwork. It's really fascinating to compile a life's work and see in black and white the 'map" of the journey. And it's about animals and travel and art. Indeed, it always has been.
The website has a lot of work still - I am just a novice. But a friend kindly observed that websites are always in progress. It was actually so easy (relatively) to just go to Siteground.com and start building. What could be more fun than laying down on visible media the joys and dreams of one's personal experiences?
Today I submitted a nomination of Rachel Hogan to be nominated for a WINGS Worldquest award. WINGS's mission is to "celebrate and support extraordinary women explorers by promoting scientific exploration, education and conservation." wingsworldquest.org
Two nights ago I was surfing the Web for small baby bottles and nipples adequate for wee monkey babies. I found a site from Australia that makes bottles and nipples for various animals - and it lists them...wallabies, kangaroos, possoms, monkeys. Who knew???
That reminds me of one of my favorite quotes. When I sent photos of my baby monkey Yoda to my Scanner family friends, my friend Amyla wrote back to the group, "Help. Can someone please come to my house in North Carolina and peel my heart off the living room floor where it has melted under the gaze of wee tiny Yoda in all her 'Yod-a-dorableness.' "
The website has a lot of work still - I am just a novice. But a friend kindly observed that websites are always in progress. It was actually so easy (relatively) to just go to Siteground.com and start building. What could be more fun than laying down on visible media the joys and dreams of one's personal experiences?
Today I submitted a nomination of Rachel Hogan to be nominated for a WINGS Worldquest award. WINGS's mission is to "celebrate and support extraordinary women explorers by promoting scientific exploration, education and conservation." wingsworldquest.org
Two nights ago I was surfing the Web for small baby bottles and nipples adequate for wee monkey babies. I found a site from Australia that makes bottles and nipples for various animals - and it lists them...wallabies, kangaroos, possoms, monkeys. Who knew???
That reminds me of one of my favorite quotes. When I sent photos of my baby monkey Yoda to my Scanner family friends, my friend Amyla wrote back to the group, "Help. Can someone please come to my house in North Carolina and peel my heart off the living room floor where it has melted under the gaze of wee tiny Yoda in all her 'Yod-a-dorableness.' "
Sunday, February 17, 2008
On order and writing
This morning when I woke up, I realized I could no longer work well - calmly - in a chaotic space. So I have spent part of the morning organizing all the papers into their various designated notebooks and in the computer. As Steven Pressfield so eloquently wrote in his book, "The War of Art", responding to his own early days of living in chaos:
"The professional cannot live like that. He is on a mission. He will not tolerate disorder. He eliminates chaos from his world in order to banish it from his mind. He wants the carpet vacuumed and the threshhold swept, so the Muse may enter and not soil her gown."
I should know better. It's what I do for a living - design and professional organizing. The power of design, beauty and order is life-changing; don't underestimate it. While at CWAF I redesigned manager Rachel's living quarters. She said she needed her place to be a sanctuary, a harbor of calm and serenity where she could restore herself from the relentless forces she faced every day. When we were finished, I would say it looked like a serene art gallery in a spa-like setting (without having spent a lot of money!) She told me it changed her life. From the day it was completed, Rachel reported she was able, for the first time, to sleep through the night. And she told me the two things she is most proud of are her raising of 2 baby gorillas, and having her place designed by a New York City interior designer.
Yesterday I was telling someone how thankful I am that someone brainstormed the idea of this Blog for me. Without it, I'd not be able to capture fleeting yet potentially valuable or even profound thoughts that flash through my mind. Another supportive tidbit from novelist Wally Lamb who wrote in O Magazine about his teaching writing at a women's correctional institution:
"Michelangelo, the 16th-century artistic genius, once said this about his work: 'I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.' My inmate students, you, and I are damaged angels-in-waiting who have the potential to sculpt our best selves with the aid of paper and pen. The rehabilitative power of our words invites us to test our still-wet wings, tentatively at first and then with greater and greater assurance. And as that happens, we rise above the concrete and razor wire of painful memories, baffling personal mysteries, and imprisoning secrets. Our load lightens, our perspective changes. We fly away."
And another excerpt from the article on the author's truths about personal writing, that resonated with me:
"In writing, as in life, voice is crucial. Your voice has been honed by your family, your ethnic heritage, your neighborhood, and your education. It is the music of what you mean in the world. Imitate no one. Your uniqueness - your authenticity - is your strength."
"The professional cannot live like that. He is on a mission. He will not tolerate disorder. He eliminates chaos from his world in order to banish it from his mind. He wants the carpet vacuumed and the threshhold swept, so the Muse may enter and not soil her gown."
I should know better. It's what I do for a living - design and professional organizing. The power of design, beauty and order is life-changing; don't underestimate it. While at CWAF I redesigned manager Rachel's living quarters. She said she needed her place to be a sanctuary, a harbor of calm and serenity where she could restore herself from the relentless forces she faced every day. When we were finished, I would say it looked like a serene art gallery in a spa-like setting (without having spent a lot of money!) She told me it changed her life. From the day it was completed, Rachel reported she was able, for the first time, to sleep through the night. And she told me the two things she is most proud of are her raising of 2 baby gorillas, and having her place designed by a New York City interior designer.
Yesterday I was telling someone how thankful I am that someone brainstormed the idea of this Blog for me. Without it, I'd not be able to capture fleeting yet potentially valuable or even profound thoughts that flash through my mind. Another supportive tidbit from novelist Wally Lamb who wrote in O Magazine about his teaching writing at a women's correctional institution:
"Michelangelo, the 16th-century artistic genius, once said this about his work: 'I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.' My inmate students, you, and I are damaged angels-in-waiting who have the potential to sculpt our best selves with the aid of paper and pen. The rehabilitative power of our words invites us to test our still-wet wings, tentatively at first and then with greater and greater assurance. And as that happens, we rise above the concrete and razor wire of painful memories, baffling personal mysteries, and imprisoning secrets. Our load lightens, our perspective changes. We fly away."
And another excerpt from the article on the author's truths about personal writing, that resonated with me:
"In writing, as in life, voice is crucial. Your voice has been honed by your family, your ethnic heritage, your neighborhood, and your education. It is the music of what you mean in the world. Imitate no one. Your uniqueness - your authenticity - is your strength."
Saturday, February 16, 2008
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
Emotions swagger back and forth inside as I think about the undertaking and all. Yesterday, my friend Oliver and I were brainstorming over sushi lunch as we discussed the ideas of my going back, all the possible projects and grants, and then designing a high quality intentional community upon return. When I'm on those topics, I'm "in the zone" almost swooning with energy and exuberance and passion. Close to tears of joy and compassion - it's when I always get a strong visual of those innocent gorillas with that soulful penetrating gaze into to the eyes of we humans as if to ask, "Why?" "Why are you doing this to us? We haven't hurt you! We haven't done anything to you" Why?" I'm researching this fact, but I believe that no gorilla has ever killed a human. Ever.
When I tap into this, there is no question in my mind what I want to do, what I must do. I am not just walking towards this goal - I am sprinting towards it. No need to ponder why I'm not getting something done to facilitate it. That's when I know absolutely it's the right direction.
Last night at a wonderful art opening of folk art, I made some potentially valuable connections with an art consultant, a grant writer, and a curator. Most exciting, too, I actually made arrangements to speak to 25 third graders at a nearby school about gorillas and the primates and conservation! The teacher I met is so excited; she said her students right now, for whatever reason, are "into" gorillas. They also undertake projects to help with causes - last year was Heifer International. She said it will be thrilling for them to meet and talk with a person who was actually in the jungle living out the experience with the primates rather than it being an abstract concept. And there is a strong possibility of them helping CWAF.
The "bad" is still the scary thoughts about income. And it is tapping into my childhood thoughts of poverty in my later years.
The "ugly" is my apartment right now because my projects are strewn all over it and I haven't done any housecleaning for a while!
When I tap into this, there is no question in my mind what I want to do, what I must do. I am not just walking towards this goal - I am sprinting towards it. No need to ponder why I'm not getting something done to facilitate it. That's when I know absolutely it's the right direction.
Last night at a wonderful art opening of folk art, I made some potentially valuable connections with an art consultant, a grant writer, and a curator. Most exciting, too, I actually made arrangements to speak to 25 third graders at a nearby school about gorillas and the primates and conservation! The teacher I met is so excited; she said her students right now, for whatever reason, are "into" gorillas. They also undertake projects to help with causes - last year was Heifer International. She said it will be thrilling for them to meet and talk with a person who was actually in the jungle living out the experience with the primates rather than it being an abstract concept. And there is a strong possibility of them helping CWAF.
The "bad" is still the scary thoughts about income. And it is tapping into my childhood thoughts of poverty in my later years.
The "ugly" is my apartment right now because my projects are strewn all over it and I haven't done any housecleaning for a while!
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Scary
Today's overpowering emotion is thinking about being away for so long...
Had a great uplifting coversation with Susan from The Gorilla Foundation about all the possibilities, and reminding myself of how powerful a calling it is when I think of the gorillas and their innocence. I recently watched "Snowflake the White Gorilla" about a unique albino gorilla who lived out most of its life at the zoo in Barcelona. What we haven't known about gorillas, and the tragic lives the gorillas have had to go through during our humans' desire to hold them captive, is agonizing to watch.
Susan and I talked about lots of possible projects to help the local communities. I'll be seeking grants for these. And I need to spend time during the next few months to check on other opportunities while I am in Cameroon.
After that, a friend reported back to me on findings about technology. It seems like I may indeed be able to make the first Internet transmission of email (and possibly Webcam!) from the sanctuary.
This morning my Israeli photographer Guy Evron gave me permission to publish a book containing his photographs on Yoda. Something like "My Monkey and Me." It needs to be a STRONG environmental / conservation message. Like the only reason I was in her life was to help her survive and thrive with other monkeys - what a privilege it was, and how rare. And how we are not supposed to be in their lives at all....but it is because of humans that we humans have to intervene - for a moment. Still in the works.
Last night my financial planner and I spoke for half an hour about the strategies for my "leap off the bridge." My friends Phyllis and Steve in North Carolina await my cat's arrival, followed by mine. These friends are golden. They've watned me to live with them for the last 8 years. It may finally come true.
I also need to research cheap air fares to see if it's feasible for me to attend the PASA managers conference in Sierra Leone in April. Rachel wouldn't have suggested it to me if she didn't think it was important. Rachel doesn't mention anything lightly. I feel honored that she even mentioned it. My friends from Dakar, and Susan, have given me leads on researching air fares. I think this is an important step.
Researching hunting boots.
Had a great uplifting coversation with Susan from The Gorilla Foundation about all the possibilities, and reminding myself of how powerful a calling it is when I think of the gorillas and their innocence. I recently watched "Snowflake the White Gorilla" about a unique albino gorilla who lived out most of its life at the zoo in Barcelona. What we haven't known about gorillas, and the tragic lives the gorillas have had to go through during our humans' desire to hold them captive, is agonizing to watch.
Susan and I talked about lots of possible projects to help the local communities. I'll be seeking grants for these. And I need to spend time during the next few months to check on other opportunities while I am in Cameroon.
After that, a friend reported back to me on findings about technology. It seems like I may indeed be able to make the first Internet transmission of email (and possibly Webcam!) from the sanctuary.
This morning my Israeli photographer Guy Evron gave me permission to publish a book containing his photographs on Yoda. Something like "My Monkey and Me." It needs to be a STRONG environmental / conservation message. Like the only reason I was in her life was to help her survive and thrive with other monkeys - what a privilege it was, and how rare. And how we are not supposed to be in their lives at all....but it is because of humans that we humans have to intervene - for a moment. Still in the works.
Last night my financial planner and I spoke for half an hour about the strategies for my "leap off the bridge." My friends Phyllis and Steve in North Carolina await my cat's arrival, followed by mine. These friends are golden. They've watned me to live with them for the last 8 years. It may finally come true.
I also need to research cheap air fares to see if it's feasible for me to attend the PASA managers conference in Sierra Leone in April. Rachel wouldn't have suggested it to me if she didn't think it was important. Rachel doesn't mention anything lightly. I feel honored that she even mentioned it. My friends from Dakar, and Susan, have given me leads on researching air fares. I think this is an important step.
Researching hunting boots.
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